Why is it that if something doesn't feel comfortable, then we assume it's not right? Why is it that we avoid people, places, and interactions throughout our lives that lay outside our comfort zone, or that make us feel uncomfortable? Sometimes, choosing what's comfortable causes us to be complacent, stagnant, and unchanged. Sometimes, choosing to reach even a little outside of our comfort zone opens doors and opportunities we didn't know we were missing.
My husband is a high school philosophy teacher and works with teenagers on a daily basis. He tries to engage his students in a way that at times feels uncomfortable for them; making them participate in class and voice their own opinions even if it's an unpopular one. Like most classrooms there are often varied levels of participants, but more often than not by the end of the year the quiet students have found a voice, and the opinionated students have been humbled. But, why is it that kids have reached high school and still don't know how to interact with others? Technology has taken away a lot of the awkward human interactions that helped us as kids learn how to interact with people. It has take away the need to call a friend's house phone, talk with their parents, ask for their friend, arrange their own playdate, and replaced it with a one sentence text. It's taken away high school kids ability to know how to date, how to look someone in the eye and have a meaningful conversation, and replaced it with social media relationship updates. It's created a world where kids are afraid to make a mistake, take the path less traveled, or move outside the norm because what they've said and done is documented, captured in a picture, Tweeted, SnapChatted, and plastered over Instagram within minutes. Although technology is now an integral part of learning, it is more important than ever for kids to look up from their phones, tablets, and computers, and engage in those awkward uncomfortable personal interactions. It is only through being uncomfortable, that they learn to develop and recognize what a healthy and comfortable relationships is.
As an emergency room nurse there are countless moments and situations throughout my career where I have felt uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable to have to engage with a stranger you just met moments before, ask very personal questions about their bodies, their lives, and their illness. It's uncomfortable to have to stand with a Doctor as they explain the findings of their CT scan, and the probable cancer diagnosis that goes with it. It's uncomfortable to sit with a family in silence as they grieve the loss of their loved one with no real explanation or answers as to what happened. It's uncomfortable to send a single mother of three home to a shelter knowing her baby is sick, she doesn't have the resources to buy Tylenol or pick up the antibiotic prescription, and her hotel room shelter has little more than a microwave and mini fridge. Learning to be present in these moments of discomfort have taught me more about human spirit, developing interpersonal relationships, and the importance of family than any "comfortable" situation could have.
But, teaching kids about being uncomfortable is important. It is never ok to feel uncomfortable when it comes to safety. Personal safety, physical safety, and emotional safety should always be recognized as important. The feelings of being uncomfortable when safety is at risk should always be a warning sign to remove yourself from the situation. Teaching kids to go outside of their comfort zone, play a new sport, call and invite over a new friend to play, join an unpopular club, or have interest in things outside of their cultural or gender norms is important. Showing kids how quietly telling someone that their fly is down, or that they have a booger in their nose, is uncomfortable yet the right thing to do.
Being comfortable often makes us complacent and stagnant. We become comfortable in relationships, in work, and in our community. We often keep our heads down and are unaware of the world around us. We often settle into our roles, life moves forward, and we become stuck. Although timing is everything, it's important to teach kids that no matter how long things have been the same, it's ok to look up, to have uncomfortable interactions with the world around you, and to make change to reach your goals and achieve your dreams. Change is hard, change is uncomfortable, and change is not often embraced or supported by others, but change is good. It may be an unpopular opinion, but being uncomfortable, even temporarily, can be right.
